For guest blogger Becky Goldberg Petty life isn't perfect, but her husband and her make it work for their family with the help of babywearing and some unconventional family dynamics.
In the past two years, my husband and I found out that I was pregnant with a baby that had serious congenital health issues, my father died, our son was born and has had two brain surgeries, we both lost our jobs and were subsequently denied a mortgage, we had to pick up and move eight hours across our home state, and were forced to restart our lives anew. Wait, that sounds bad right?
But I’ve never been happier!
This move and redefinition of our lives has allowed us the opportunity to restructure and reevaluate the lifestyle we lead and the roles that we each play in our marriage. I was always the kind of person that could have gone either way when it came to having kids. They’re fun, I like them well enough, but being a mother didn’t feel like something that I HAD to do. I figured I’d leave it up to the person I married. Christopher has ALWAYS wanted children, and being with someone who was excited about it made me excited. What wasn’t as exciting for me, however, was the concept of being a stay at home mom, or a primary caregiver. I was, and still am, career driven and I love the independence of working.
When we first had Simon, who is now 20 months old, we were living in a high cost area and both had to work. We both taught college, and I would overload my schedule two days a week to spend the rest of the time with the baby. I struggled with PPD, but babywearing and my mom tribe got me through (although that’s a different blog post for a different time), but, let’s face it, I’m a rubbish housewife, and so even though I was home most of the time, I got squat done.
Now that we’ve moved, I work full time, and my husband only works two days a week, so he’s become the primary caregiver to our little dude. Since we started this situation, we’ve been called “progressive,” I’ve had people ask me “don’t you miss the baby,” Chris has been ignored in play gyms and at parks, but, despite all of this, our family dynamic is so so functional. I don’t know how my husband manages to clean, and cook, and entertain our son, and do everything else, but he does. He’s the parent that figured out how to get the baby down for a nap without nursing (hint: babywearing!) and how to take the dog for a walk when only one of us is home (hint: also babywearing). Simon goes on adventures to the zoo, and the museum, and the park, and I spend several glorious hours with him each night between work and bedtime.
My husband’s dedication to our son, and his resolve to turn a crappy hand into a winning one has kept our family together and thriving. I’m so grateful that he and I decided we liked each other enough to make a small person, and seeing the unyielding love that he has for our son gives me life, and makes Father's Day so special to us.
- Written by 2Lambie guest blogger Becky Goldberg Petty.