Confessions of a dirty birdy

Posted on January 29 2019

Confessions of a dirty birdy

Growing up I lived in an 1800s farm house with six people, one bathroom and the smallest of water heaters so bathing was both scheduled and timed. Going over your hot water allotment was the cause of many sibling fights. Second only to who got to sit in the front seat of the car. 

While watching the DVR recently my husband looked over, sniffed and raised his eyebrows. “So Sar when was the last time you took a shower?” Hand to god I didn’t know the answer to his question. 

Somewhere in the busy 4 kid schedule of school, swimming, Girl Scouts and play dates bathing had been pushed to the back. Sure I washed by face and did the daily ‘tits, bits and pits’ so aptly named by my grandmother. 

How had I sunk this far? To the place where I knew the last time everyone including the cat had been bathed except myself. And the even bigger conundrum, how was I supposed to keep this from happening again?? To that daunting question I had no answer. 

Maybe I should make a schedule?? That’s quite hysterical actually not only the thought of free spirited me making a schedule but also following one. I’m pretty sure if one could medal in winging it, I’d win gold. 

What does one do when down upon themselves? Throw yourself to the mercy of the Facebook groups for validation. Validation received, I was indeed a dirty birdy even by parenting group standards. 

That night on the couch I laughed off the husband and washed my hair twice just to be sure. And resolved to smell better it at least try to. 

So from one reformed dirty birdy to the next these are some of my hacks:

1. As grandma said ‘tits, bits and pits’ on the daily. 

2. I carry this nifty travel deodorant ball in my purse alone with a travel sized dry shampoo. 

3. With bathing the baby I do so in the shower and get myself clean as well. 

4. Dry shampoo at night, I prefer a one with aluminum starch to tapioca starch. Tapioca makes my hair feel sticky. I’m sure the aluminum causes cancer but I drank kombucha that one time for 6 months straight so we’ll call it even. Even better my fav is a huge bottle thats $5.99 at TJ Maxx. 

5. When I do wash my hair I let the shampoo sit 3-5 minutes while I daydream about this workout that I could do (and won’t) for flat abs. This really lets it break down the oils. 

6. Take showers during nap time. Instead of catching up on the DVR, start by showering then binge watching. 

Will this all work out in the end? I’m sure there will be falters along the way but at least now I’ve upgraded my status from pigeon to duck with goals of being a hummingbird. 


Authors note: My grandmother quoted above died later in the day that I wrote this. 


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